Coffee & Writing

I wrote a post called “When You Did the Right and Wrong Thing” about introducing someone I care deeply for to someone I wasn’t supposed to introduce him to, and I knew it would end our relationship if I did.

Why would I do such a thing? Why would I go so strongly against his parents’ wishes when I didn’t want to? Why would I tell them about it instead of keeping it a secret? I try not to think of the past, but the one thing that stumps me is if they ever scratched their heads and wondered why all of this happened, especially why I told them. Or, if they figured it out.

I knew when I wrote that email to his dad explaining the introduction, it would be the last email I would send to their family, and it was.

It is not my job to parent. They did not put limits on how long per day I could interact with this person via the internet. We were spending too much time together, he needed to be with people his own age, which I suggested to him.

I don’t know why his parents did not put limits on our time together. Perhaps they still needed something to keep him occupied, which is how it all started in the first place, and I was a last resort. I don’t know what goes on in the mind of another person, so I should not make a supposition.

They told me once to back off based on a lie he told about something I had done. He asked me to do something for him and when his parents found out the following day, they were furious, he was scared, and said he hadn’t given me permission to do it. It was a situation any kid would have been scared in and lied.

I didn’t care for a long time, but am suddenly very angry with him from time to time because he is a liar. His lie caused a text chain to be started by my sister to I don’t know who and involved misrememberings on her part and the thing he lied about. I’m sure they discussed other things.

I refused to retaliate and add to the drama by sending everyone copies of the texts she sent me, because she was not acting like herself. I didn’t was people to see that and think worse of her.

I backed off as they asked; however, no one specifically said I could not talk to him ever again. If they had said that, I certainly would have respected their wishes. They had the opportunity and they didn’t take it. So, I started up a relationship with him again two weeks after they told me to back off.

When I introduced this person I cared so much about to the person he was not supposed to meet, it was deliberate. I needed his parents to do exactly what they did, because I knew I was getting in the way of their family.

Am I sad? Only in the sense that I will never send out another family email because it can’t include her. When I did send out a family email, it felt wrong, so I have decided to not send out family emails anymore. I won’t get to text my sister on her birthday and that makes me sad. I won’t send out Christmas cards to my siblings because she doesn’t want any communication, and I want to respect that. My family is broken for me.

It’s okay. I believe everything happens for a reason and by the Will of God. I set it up to be this way for their family to be happier and I hope it has worked.

My blessings and love are always with them.

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