Coffee & Writing

by Miriam Kavanagh

When something unexpedtedly ends for an unknown reason that will never become known, it’s strange. You know that you are the one experiencing it, but you just feel like you’re walking next to the one who it’s happening to–that way you don’t have to admit that it’s happening to you. Everything is just fine with you, it’s the person standing next to you that is struggling to keep their head above water.

Then, you think you’ll go in another way; however, you find your GPS gives you the best route but with tolls and curiously you wind up in Wales. Then you realize that you can’t tell the Welsh-speaking toll collector you have no Welsh pounds. So, you turn back from the land of consonants and Dylan Thomas. Suddenly, you sit up straight in bed and say, “Man, was that weird!”

When you realize there is no one walking beside you experiencing whatever is going on, you fall apart. Mashed potatoes and coffee become the food and drink of the day, as for showering and brushing your teeth–no. Cozy cat pajamas become the fashion of the day and the sheets become twisted.

Eventually, you hit a bottom then try to find the footholds to climb out, and your brain slowly starts to put itself together again. Your teeth get brushed and you get sick at the thought of mashed potatoes, grab an apple and put a cup of coffee on the small warmer.

It gets better, but it’s always confusing and you don’t know what to do with the what ifs that clog your brain.